Never settle for less

 Hello Blogger world and everyone!! 

I hope you're doing well :)

It's been a while... 

I am listening to some relaxing meditation music as we are speaking here and I thought it would be a good time to let some thoughts out on my blogger. 

I have realized for the first time in a long time to never settle for less. 

Like...

- Dating someone just so that I'm not lonely 

- Dating the wrong person or dating the right person at the wrong time 

- Holding onto something or someone that doesn't resonate anymore 

- Lowering my prices in my business just to 'make a sale' or to serve everyone... 

- Saying yes to every single opportunity/call/meet up that comes my way 

and probably a lot more lol. I just cancelled two calls that I had scheduled for later today (I just woke up from a nap) that I literally scheduled in the same week. 

I don't usually do that unless it's like WOW OMG call, but I felt rushed to do it and hurried because they were both things I thought I was not doing so well at (help to get sales in my business, and help with dating/meeting the right person). 

But I realize that it's okay to be patient for the good things. I noticed I was only in a rush because I recently moved back in with my parents and they have been saying their thoughts and opinions out loud to me to 'go get a job' and the 'I don't know what the heck you're doing, you left your 6 grand a month job, etc.' - it hurts to hear that from the parents you look up to, who are literally doing the same thing, but I digress. 

And I was like, you know what...? My timeline is no one else's timeline. I do not have to push myself or pressure myself to do something that I don't want to do! 

Also btw, a ton of people got laid off from the company I left, which really sucks :( (there's so many good people I met there) so... I think I'm doing just fine ;) 

I quit my job in October 2021 to pursue my dreams full time. And I hadn't really been doing that, but I have been figuring things out as I go. 

It's been 10 months since then. I allowed myself to grieve for 6 months, and then the last 3 months have been about implementing the systems, strategies and now, energetics for what I want to call in and for what I've learned <3 I am excited to see what magic unfolds for myself and my life and business and career. 

I'm also taking a break from investing in new courses/advisors, etc (at least financially). I have a team of free advisors/coaches right now. Not the most ideal because their capacity is limited, but I am very grateful for having them in my life. Thank you MJ and Anne-Marie, I appreciate you both! 

I would also like to get into teaching English online. I have an application ready to go and I need to complete the interview part. 

My other goal was also to work in makeup... and I had always wanted to work at Sephora <3 I am being picky with the location right now, so once I feel called to apply, I will. 

I also would love to write columns and articles. At my last job, I wrote every single day for social media supporting people online, and also for the online community forums. 

I still write for my business today which is awesome, but it would also be nice to write for a niche column. Not sure what kind of niche, I'm pretty grateful and proud of myself for studying various topics throughout the years, so I'd love to write about them hehe 

I realized I had grown up thinking that I needed to settle with my first everything. 

First job, career, boyfriend, home, etc. 

but after having three years of solitude/time to focus on myself and trying new things, and then moving back into my parents house, I realized this is not what I want. 

My ancestors did not sacrifice themselves/go through what they did for me to live a settled down/mediocre life. I would be doing a disservice to them if I sat here and settled down. 

I know I'm the black sheep of my family. I'm VERY ambitious and mission and vision oriented and I see a lot of the bigger picture but I had been made to be a detailed oriented person (which I also love but I prefer to be the big picture person hahaha I also love that I can do this with my coaching business). And I am also a polymath. I need to do multiple things. 

Perhaps I'm remembering who I really am. 

These last few days I had been pondering why I feel like my highschool self/university self has blended together. Along with the wisdom of my post-secondary and post-corporate working self. 

And I realized it's because I am remembering who I am. 

I am in the present and I am acknowledging it and letting myself do what's best for me. 

I have also been having so many conversations with people. To the point where I need to say no to a lot of things and I have a hard time saying no tbh 

I just love seeing people happy but I also love seeing myself happy, so I will say no when I need to! 

I love saying yes to things that fill me up and fill my heart with joy and are a FUCK YES HECK YES kinda deal <3 I love it!! 

I really needed to journal this... it's so nice to just type my thoughts out instead of always writing them down in my notebook to myself/vlogging about it haha 

Sometimes you just need those moments with your fingers and the keys and the screen.

I am also learning to relax more. 

I need to relax more...

I was brought up in an environment where hustling/working until you're exhausted was the norm. 

And I realized that doesn't always bring about the most potent results or desired outcome. 

In the last three years I have been studying ways to allow more femineity in my life. 

To focus on attracting, rather than chasing the things I want in life. 

This also includes the way I do sales/marketing. I have a lot of people wanting to help me telling me to do sales/marketing in a masculine way but I'm not having it... 

and that is okay. 

What is important to me is to conserve my energy and also make the sale. 

Conserve my energy and also have a good time doing the things I love, with the people I love. 

Conserve my energy and also make an impact and nourish my soulmate aligned clients. <3 

Conserve my energy and also have a great time and impact my loved ones, friends and family <3 

I have a long ways to go. So much to learn, a lifetime to keep going. 

But for now, I will focus on relaxing and attracting the things, experiences and people I want to let in <3 

I hope to write in here more often. I don't like to keep things to myself, I love telling people what I'm up to. 

It's very therapeutic... 

Also I don't work with my psychologist anymore lol so I need to let my thoughts out!! outside of my social media channels lol 

I have an appointment booked with my psychologist for later this month. I can't wait to see her! 

I can feel my shoulders releasing. They were tense earlier lol. 

I would love a massage haha 

Thank you for reading and for listening. I'm heading off to watch a recording for a course I invested in last year. See you next time! 😜

XO Kare 

 

Withdrawals

I'm having a bit of social withdrawals. This is why routines are necessary!

I've been trying to keep up with reading more, writing more, posting more, making meals more, and waking up earlier more... oh and going to the gym more too. It's working, but as soon as I don't do one of them, I fall into a slump!

Last week I went out for poutine week to Pig & Duke with my friend, J, and also celebrated my friend's birthday at Fusion Sushi and at Sole Karaoke with A. Then A and I went to T&T the next day to get some groceries and snacks. :)

This past weekend I mostly relaxed. I hung out with another J friend on Friday and went to The Coup for dinner, as well as Philosafy to catch up! I decided to chill during the Easter weekend because I'm going to have a big weekend that'll probably tire me out since I will be volunteering on Friday. It was nice to get some errands done and to go on a little stroll.

I've been doing well in terms of writing in my bullet journal.

I bought the wrong jacket, again

This week has been pretty eventful both at work and personally.

I went back to a M-F rotation at work and so I've been pretty tired in the evenings but managed to get some reading done, reflecting, and also make some food. Been watching a lot of Ai Nori since the 2nd season came out on Netflix.

So earlier this week I bought the jacket I thought was correct, online. I got it and then realized it stil wasn't the right one, but decided to keep it! I went to Dynamite on Saturday to return the old one, and found the correct one was still at the shop, but they didn't have my size, so I didn't get it. I wore my new jacket today outside and it was still pretty cute! Yay, fashion!

So at work I've got a couple projects to help with, so I'm looking forward to working on these :) Yay!

Friday - Took a nap as I was pretty tired. Woke up later in the evening and went and did some karaoke with old and new friends and the boif.

Saturday - Waaaay too sleepy but had lots of things to do. I went for brunch at Espresso Cafe with a friend, then went to Nanao Kimono and bought a few sakura and yuzu goodies! It was such a cute store and I'm happy that I got to experience it with my friend. I'm looking forward to going back there to get some dishware sometime. Afterwards, I went to Chnook Mall and returned my jacket. I also got a contour stick from Sephora and then some stuff fom The Ordinary at the Bay. I also tried some clothes on, but they didn't look great on me so I didn't get them. There was a pair of lounge pants from pink that felt really nice, and looked a tad loose, so I didn't get it, but it was also expensive too... I went to Ardene to see if they had something similiar, but they didn't, so I guess I would be paying for quality and comfort. I'm going to look online to see if they have the pants available.

Today we watched a ton of Ainori and then had banh mi for lunch. It's 5pm now so Im going to work on my blog, do some reading and help out the boif. I want to go out some more since it's the weekend, but I'm not sure where to...

I bought the wrong jacket

Last weekend I went to Grape Escape with some of my girl friends. We had a great time! After, I didn't feel so well and was out sick for a few days. So thankful that I am better now. I couldn't really look at food for a few days, now I'm back to my normal self!

Thursday - I did some cleaning in my bathroom, some laundry and tried to figure out the InstantPot that we just got (didn't really figure it out, but found out it'll be very useful!), did some side hustling, posted on IG, wrote in my journal and we also went for a walk in Inglewood. It was really nice to get outside after staying inside for so long, and I wanted to get my energy back.

Today we went to the Avenida Food Hall & Market. There were a ton of different food places there and a few stalls that sold other goods. We tried samples from the thai place, the pretzel place, the hot sauce place, the ethiopian place, and the mercantile place. Had some tuna poke and Korean fried chicken tacos, along with some chips with honey and butter drizzled on them, with a side of yuzu aioli. A bit too much, we couldn't finish the chips haha, it was more of a dessert. We also took home some lemon smashed tea from Teamo and some Skor and Earl Grey Lavender cannolis from Holy Cannoli.

Afterwards, we came home for a bit and then I went to Chinook mall to shop for a card. I took a peak at Sephora, Bonlook, and Thefaceshop as well, and Shoppers, but didn't get anything from there. I did get a jacket from Dynamite. I wanted to get this pleather jacket I had tried on previously, so I went there, and thought what I was trying on, was the jacket that I wanted... but something was off about it, but I got it anyway. Then as I was telling my friend about it, I realized I had purchased the wrong one.

I'm going to go return it sometime when I get the chance, but in the meantime I'll order the actual one that I wanted, online. Ok, just looked at the jacket that I got... on the model online, and it actually doesn't look too bad. Hmm. What do... do I keep it and still get the other one? lol I guess I'll try it on again with a different shirt and see how it looks.

Improvements!

It's been a hot minute. The week after I wrote my last post here was a super productive one. I wanted to stop feeling so sluggish and tired, and too exhausted to not be able to make food, etc. So I got up early and dedicated at least 10 minutes during each of my breaks (morning before working, during my lunch, and then a little bit of the evening) to meal prep. Washing and chopping veggies, putting them into the fridge for later, etc. were left for the mornings/afternoons, and then putting things together and making the hot items were for the evening. Distributing the tasks throughout the day really motivated me to get up earlier and helped with eating healthier!

I felt really good as a result as well.

Then last week (the week after lol) was super sluggish. I had meal prepped a bit before, but I left a bit of meal prep to the evenings, which wasn't too bad since I still mapped out my meals in my bujo, which helps A LOT, because it makes me accountable when I write it down. I felt a bit weird not prepping much, but we went to the gym lots last week, so it balances it out!

With that, I've also been getting back into reading and I did some meditation as well. Time to combine all of these together which really is my way of giving myself self-care.

Friday - I didn't have any plans with friends this weekend (last weekend I went or brunch at Espresso Cafe) so it was very chill and I got myself some meals from Pathways Burgers & MoMos. I got a veggie momo poutine and a chicken momos appetizer. I looooved the chicken momos, the poutine fries and gravy and cheese was good, but the veggie momos were baked which didn't go too well with the poutine, I thought... so I think I'll try the boiled veggie momos next time. The chicken momos also came with some hot peppers and some momo sauce, which was sooo delicious all put together. We watched some shows on Netflix to chill for the rest of the evening.

Saturday - The day was packed full of things. We went to IKEA and got food from the restaurant. We both got the tomato and feta soup, which was amazing. The bae also got a shrmp open face sandwich, as well as a daim cake. I got some veggie medallions as well, they were pretty good! We just decided to go a la carte with our food so that we can try different things. Originally we wanted to get some veggie hotdogs, but the lines were always so full. Shopped around for a bit for some props and for some household items, and then we went to Superstore and I got grocceries while bae went to look for another prop. Then we went to Chinook mall, and I went shopping for some stuff while bae also went to look for props. Afterwards, we went to the famjam's for dinner, played with Tofu, and then I went to Wal-Mart to grab some stuff as well :)

Today I went for a walk, did some interactions on the 'gram, took some photos for the 'gram, cleaned, prepped some ingredients, did laundry and also had Wow Chicken for dinner. Sooo good. I wanted to get my cleaning done to get rid of some clutter today, so I decided to order-in instead of making some food. I'm glad I did, because it was so delicious!!

I'm going to go work on my blog now and then do a bit of reading/relaxing before bed. I've cut back on the amount of YouTube I watch now, since I'm usually working or doing chores, or reading, so it's been nice because I don't really feel fomo anymore. I'm mostly using YouTube for things I'm curious about learning, that would help me in my day-to-day goals.

Oh and I've also been eating oatmeal almost everyday, with fruits (strawberries and bananas). It's so freaking good!

2019!!

Whoa, it's been a while (that's my line like all the time).

In January we went on our trip to Europe. We went to Scotland (Edinbugh, Castle Douglas, Gretna Green, Kirkcudbright), Portugal (Sintra, Palmela, Lisbon) and also England (London). A lot of places to see in just two ish weeks! We checked out all sorts of attractions like the Edinburgh Castle, London Dungeon, Shakespeares Globe, Madame Tussauds, the Lisbon Story Centre, National Palace of Pena and Quinta De Regeilara. Sooo many places and a lot of steps to add onto my fitbit. :)

It was a fun trip and I'm finding it a bit challenging to get back into the swing of things at home, but I think I'm up to speed now. The jet lag helped for the first few days, as I got up really early and went to bed really early. Now it's back to the old bad habits of staying up late and waking up later. Must stop.

I wrote this entire post out the other day but it never saved :( It must have been because I left the window open for a few hours, so I probably wasn't logged in anymore. To sum it up, I've been working on content for my channels and am working towards making it a routine. I've got a long way to go, but I'm glad I'm getting things going!

This weekend was packed!

Thursday - I went to Dagu Rice Noodle with some friends to catch up. We had a good chat about games, streaming, our goals, YouTube, and about upcomng esport events! It was a really interesting conversation, and it looks like we might have formed a new group for Thursday hangouts!

Friday - We went to the famjam's for dinner, played with Tofu and then I cleaned the house, watched some YouTube, and finished up my other post. I was pretty motivated to clean because I had made plans with a friend to come over the next day to do a work together. I also cleaned my makeup brushes!

Saturday - My friend was pretty exhausted, so they didn't come over to work together, but we went to sing karaoke and have dinner with another friend. I had pink eye last week, so I couldn't make it to my friend's birthday party, so this was my way of making it up to her. We sang for just over an hour, which is much shorter than we're used to, but we were able to sing quite a bit of songs! Afterwards, I made a little cheese, cracker, and guac platter for myself after researching food delivery places. I really wanted some honey lemon tea for my throat because it was getting a bit stuffy, but it was already a bit too late to order from places, and I didn't feel like spending over $10. I did some reading before going to bed, and that really helped me feel relaxed.

Today I went for the brunch buffet at Espresso Cafe with my friend, and we ate quite a bit of food. I woke up early to make a reservation just in case, and I definitely realized it was a good idea after we got there, it was so busy! I remember going there for brunch around the time it first started doing that, and it was not busy at all, they're definitely picking up! We caught up a lot because we hadn't seen each other in a few months, and then we went to the mall. My friend had an appointment to go to, and so we walked around trying to find the Chi Keratin Mist for my hair while she waited to go to her appointment. I'm hoping this mist will help make my hair stronger, it's been a bit damaged lately after using weird shampoos on it last month, and I was looking for a hair product that would work on not just damp hair, but dry hair as well inbetween washes. My friend went to her appointment and then I went home and did some tidying, some reading, and got my stuff ready.

Throughout the weekend, I managed to get out of bed early/at a reasonable time, so my body is slowly working it's way to being morning adaptive again!

Holidays!

I didn't have a chance to blog last weekend, so much was going on! There were a few holiday parties which were pretty exciting (CEO's mansion, meeting up with my coworkers, going karaoke and holding our own party).

Also ate a lot of chocolate this week.

Dec 24 - Had Shawarma for our Christmas Eve dinner. It was really good!! Also played some Smash Bros Ultimate as we were able to get a deal from Best Buy ($30 off online or a gift card in-store) - Also spent the evening trying to choose a Christmas movie to watch fully haha

Dec 25 - Spent Christmas morning opening our gifts for each other, and finishing up the Christmas Chronicles movie. Had a bagel sandwich for lunch and then had Christmas dinner with my family. It was good, lots of fried chicken/shrimp with sugar cane, soup and a lot more stuff!

Dec 26 - Spent most of the day at home doing some work and hanging out. Went to Cross Iron for an hour and then went home.

Dec 27 - I volunteered for a fundraiser. Had my favourite fried rice for dinner from Noodle World. So good, and a jackfruit shake!

Dec 28 - I went to try this new noodle place in town with my friend. It was so delicious and they even had free second servings of noodles available! Definitely want to go there again. It was a bit pricey, but the bonus noodles and the size of the bowl really is worth it! After meeting with my friend, I went to the mall to go do some errands and looked through a of stores and makeup wipes! Haha.

Dec 29 - Went to Cross Iron again to grab a microfibre towel that was on sale for $10 and got a spray bottle. Checked out some deals and also got some sugar cane juice... it was nice to be reunited with a drink I would have like everyday when I was little and visiting my cousins! Did some more work later as well and video editing.

Today we went to Best Buy and McDonald's and then cleaned the house and did some chores. I'm just waiting for my pizza to finish reheating for dinner and then I'm going to do some editing and some journaling. Will also watch a few youtube videos too!

Not sure what we're doing for NYE... hmm!

R & R

This weekend was quite productive and a ton of fun!

Thursday - I had the day off so I went to run some errands downtown and eat lunch with a friend at Point Sushi. Played the new Super Smash Bros Ultimate game with a friend and the boif too.

Friday - I decided to stay in most of the day and just relax. I ordered some food from Taste of Korea - spicy tofu stew and some fried chicken with sides. Also got a Lemon Ade drink (fizzy lemon drink with lemon pieces) and it was really tasty! Watched a bunch of vlogmas videos and did some video editing (I think?).

Saturday - Went to the boif's work holiday party. It was really cool, a smaller group of people but some good conversations and we got to watch an improv group. The party was at the founder's house, which was so amazing and big. It didn't even feel like we were at someone's house, I felt like we were at a hotel! I dolled up and wore my favourite velvet dress. :) I'm now pondering about what to wear for the other holiday parties we'll be attending!

Today we slept in for a bit. We went to Espresso Cafe to have some cajun chicken sandwiches. They were only $9.95 for happy hour and they were delicious! We also had an iced chai and a turmeric chai latte. Afterwards, we went to peek on the kitties at Regal Cat Cafe, and then went home. I was so sleepy so I took a nap for about an hour after trying to watch some youtube videos. Went to the famjam's for dinner and to play with Tofu, and now I'm just editing my vlogs for vlogmas. I'm also having some Christmas Eve Stash Tea. Also posted an IG post!

It's going to be quite the busy week! Lots of video editing to be done, prepping for the holidays/parties, going out with friends, and appointments galore!

I missed a weekend of blogging!

Whoops! I missed a weekend of blogging.

Last weekend we went to Original Joe's for dinner and we also went to the mall to get the boif a new phone and so that I could get a hot water bottle.

This weekend:

Friday - Went to greta and craft. I had poke for dinner using my credit from DoorDash, which was really nice. I decided to try a spinach base (Hawaiian style) instead of a rice base. Felt healthier, but it was still quite a meal!

Saturday - Went to the holiday expo and I got a moonstick necklace for only $10! The boif got a Legend of Zelda music box, which we almost thought was a Game of Thrones music box, because the notes that played at the beginning of the first few cranks was very similar to it's theme song. We went to the famjam's for dinner and played with Tofu for a bit, and then just had a chill evening working/relaxing. I started watching The Princess Switch, not really sure I'm into the movie that much, I also watched a few YouTube videos.

Today we had leftover pizza for dinner and went to see Bohemian Rhapsody. It was a great movie. We're just chilling at home for the evening. I'm going to do some journaling and then maybe game or watch some YouTube.

It's been snowing more and getting colder outside, which is making me actually want to stay indoors more. With that, I need to keep myself busy, so I'm doing vlogmas again and so I'll be editing lots.

I also still need to work on my website, it's really bad right now. I'll go do that and make sure to work on my creativity this week! I just need to start doing things, and then I become super passionate at it.

More of myself again

The beginning of this week marks the time I decided to go see a naturopath.

On Monday I was feeling pretty weird. I was very sore and in a lot of discomfort and I was a bit anxious. I wanted to go see my doctor but everytime I called them, I couldn't get through. I Googled medical offices around me and there weren't a lot of good reviews for the closest one, so I decided to try a naturopath clinic.

I'm really happy I did. I got IV therarpy and some supplements and the day of I felt on and off, but the next few days were amazing. I'm a bit mellow now but I still feel pretty good. I also have a new meal plan and sleep/wake up plan that I am trying to implement as much as possible, along with exercise. I actually haven't used the light therapy box yet but I think I might use it soon just to get more light.

Friday - I got acupuncture for the first time. I had thought my benefits covered it but it was actually my HSA... oops. I don't have anything left in it, so I paid for it out of pocket and I think I'll wait a week or so to book another appointment because it is almost a $100. I felt pretty sore after the treatment, but it does take a few appointments to feel better from it. I still don't really like the sensation of the needles, even though they are thin and I can't feel them after a few seconds. T_T But I'm glad I tried it, it made me feel a tiny bit better afterwards. We had Subway for dinner and watched some Sabrina and relaxed.

Saturday - We went to New Horizon Mall for a little bit to check out what's inside. A lot of spaces still for lease, but there were a few stores open as well. I think it'll be really cool if a Daiso opens up there or even a grocery store. We also went to Cross Iron Mills to buy a gift for our friends' baby's 1st birthday. Us and a group of friends got her a drum set with piano and a xylophone. We also went to Costco to grab some groceries and then went to the famjam's for dinner and played with Tofu. Afterwards, we watched some Netflix.

Today we went to the baby's birthday brunch and then went to see Grindewald. Interesting party and also interesting film. The baby was quite intrigued by her new toys! I also got a foam roller to help me massage my body and stretch. We went to Blaze Pizza to pick up dinner and then continued the movie we were watching on Netflix and started another one. Just having some tea right now and I'm going to go plan what I'm going to do tomorrow.

Definitely need to go to the gym and exercise a bit more after all the carbs and stuff I had this week. Totally had a cheat meal weekend... lol. I need to go back to my plan.

Lethargy D:

So this week was quite the week. I felt lethargic almost the entire week but felt much better on Friday and on Saturday. Today I was ok but felt lethargy and really hot. I decided to do something about it, though!

I was pretty good about trying to walk outside almost everyday after work. It helped a bit with the winter blues when I increased my exposure to daylight/fluorescent lighting on my digital devices and when I went into stores. I think I might be feeling this way also because I was just sick the week before, so my body is feeling strange and confused.

Weekend recap:

Friday - Went to the famjam's for dinner and played with Tofu for a bit. Cutie pie kept licking my fingers lol after I washed my hands. Went back home for a bit to wind down and then also went to The Rec Room for some fun and games! We have over 1000 points now, but still saving up since we didn't know what we wanted to redeem as a prize. There were a few things that also didn't cost many points, like small writing tools, etc... but ah not too sure about getting those! We then went home and relaxed after.

Saturday - I refreshed my purple locks and I decided to dedicate this day to having some hitori time with some shopping during the Sephora VIB sale in the mall. I got quite a few things to restock on like eyeliner and concealer, and then I also bought some perfume that has the Clean at Sephora seal on it (no harsh chemicals, etc.) so that it's as natural as possible and doesn't irritate me. I also got a silicon face mask applicator... looks pretty handy to apply face masks and also remove them with the brush head (it's a dual brush). Afterward, I met up with my friend from Bumble and we had dinner at Seed and Salt to catch up and just chat about what's going on in our lives. It was a good chat and afterward my friend dropped me off at the grocery store so I could pick up some Vitamin D. Afterwards, I went home and we had friends over, so hung out with them for a bit and then we headed to Sole for some good ol' karaoke. It was fun!

Today we slept in for a bit longer since we were pretty exhausted. Watched some Insatiable on Netflix for a bit as I was really looking forward to watching something light-hearted. We then went to Jinya Ramen for a late lunch and then got some latte at Espresso Cafe. It was really nice getting some daylight this weekend. I then started getting the winter blues again after we went home and I felt super sleepy so I took a nap for a few hours and then went outside for a walk. During my walk I reflected on my week and how I felt, and what I was grateful for and my game plan to get out of this rut. I decided to go to the gym afterwards and that made me feel a bit better and then I did some meal prep and made a salad and ate oranges/icecream/had tea. I also wrote in my journal and now this blog, and planned out my week. I'm going to try light therapy and continue taking my vitamins. I also realized that I really, really need to go outside during the day and so I'm going to try to wake up earlier each day so I can go do that and get some fresh air. I'm going to try sneaking in some gym time too in the mornings. I feel weird after work sometimes to do stuff, the beginning of my week is usually focused on meeting deadlines for video editing after work, so I already feel like the night is shorter and get the winter blues. I am hoping that by changing up my daylight exposure that it wil really help me feel better and not get the winter blues anymore.

I know that this didn't happen in previous years, because I had always had a chance to go outside during the daylight through a lunch break, or running errands during the day for work. Since working remotely, I haven't done that since the evenings started becoming longer. I can't imagine how other people who don't really get to see the sun for the majority of day would feel. I just know that right now it feels terrible and so after a week of it, I have enough energy to do something about it.

Last week was also focused on getting as much sleep as possible, because I thought that's what was messing me up... so trying to get up earlier will be a bit of a challenge, but I'm up for it! :)

Ewwww

So I have been sick for about a week. That cold I was feeling came on full force last Thursday. Awful!

Couldn't do shit. Also trained for my new job. I was very surprised that I made it through a week. I don't know if I retained anything, but I did it!

Last weekend I didn't really do anything except for lay in bed for most of it. And take meds and try to get better.

I still have a cough right now, but I did do some stuff as soon as this weekend rolled around!

Friday - We got a Blaze Pizza to share. It was the first day I had been outside, other than to go to the famjam's. Felt good. I didn't feel insanely cold when we went outside. Watched a ton of Netflix.

Saturday - Went for a walk around the neighborhood, looked at some natural meds and also got a baba gannouj sandwich from the Mediterranean place down the street. Finally some veggies! Stayed inside after and just watched some Extra Life streams on Twitch and played some SC6.

Today we went and checked out the new library. It was really cool! There were a ton of people there since it's opening weekend. We also went to Tubby Dog and I didn't like my not-dog at all... I used to love their veggie dogs so much years ago, but it was not what I thought it was today :( Their turkey dog was pretty good though! We also checked out Societe Coffee Lounge for their shakai matcha line. Got a matcha pina smoothie, and a matcha rose latte with a matcha doughnut to share. Pretty good matcha but not that sweet at all and the rose was very strong. The pina smoothie had some pineapple chunks which I happily devoured!

Went and ran an errand at Co-Op as well and then walked around the neighborhood a little bit when we got home. The daylight savings time ending has got me all feeling weird. It feels late but it's early.

I'm going to try to get back to normal activities this week like editing my videos and vlogging and going out for a walk after work. It's so dark now though because I'm done work much later now. T_T

Confidence

Gratitude and confidence.

That's what I'm doing.

No more focusing on expectations.

Focus on the good points, support, and appreciate.

Weekend wrap-up:

Friday - Went to a friend's place and had pizza and cake for ladies night! It was great just hanging out with the girls and meeting a new friend. Also got to see my friend's dogs. I've only met one of them and then got to meet the other! The girl dog was so shy, she kept running away or tried to hide whenever I got closer to her.

Saturday - Had my first Thanksgiving dinner with some friends at our place, and then I also went to K One Karaoke with some old and new friends. Fun night in and out! Played the new Mario Party on the Switch as well, so fun.

Sunday - We slept in for a bit longer than usual and then went to Monki Bistro for brunch and an early birthday fondue! I'm literally in a food coma right now. Not the best feeling lol but thank goodness for mugicha!

The rest of the night was spent in the ER -_-. While we were walking to the gym, I suddenly felt my left tricep go tense and it felt like my arm was getting its blood pressure taken. It felt like a squeezing pain. I started to get weird pain randomly around my body as well. I panicked a bit on and off, and then decided to call Health Link to figure out what to do. They told me to go to the ER so we went and we were there for 5 hours T_T. I took an ECG and blood test and everything was good. The doctor told me it was the anxiety and that the pain was probably psychological. They told me that I was 100% okay and that I should go see my family doctor in a week to get my anxiety checked out.

They also told me that my iron was not low at all. So interesting to get a second opinion!

Today I am feeling much better and went out to go get some chamomile & lavender tea as well as some aromatherapy to help with my anxiety. I'm also trying to keep myself busy too.

Fall cold

So my allergies followed me home when I got back I came back with a head cold. Took some time off work to rest up.

I'm feeling better but I still have a cough. My nose is clearing up which is good!

I took some time this weekend to rest and also attend a wedding for one of my very good friends. Did a bit of catching up with some other friends as well.

It's starting to get colder.

CAMP starts tomorrow. I'm pretty excited! This year one of my goals for it is not to just learn lots, but to try to network with a few people.

Now that I work for someone that is kind of in the industry, it seems relevant now to network with the other attendees.

I just hope it'll be a bit different and that there will be more open opportunities to network inbetween sessions. :)

Lowering my expectations

So lately I've been pretty irritable.

The slightest repetitive sounds tick me off, and since I'm a light sleeper, if I can hear everything that is going on in the evening when I'm trying to sleep, it annoys me as I can't fall asleep without getting disrupted.

I've been super cranky.

I've done pretty well not to get super frustrated and vent, but ah it's time to stop bottling it in/

I just did some reading online on how to deal with it, and one of the steps was to write it out in a journal if you can't vent it to someone else or a friend, so that's what I'm doing now.

I'm irritated because I'm in a different routine and in a different environment. I'm used to quietness and everyone sleeping at the same time and being quiet at night. I'm also not used to people talking loudly when I am working.

So what I tried to do was wear noise cancelling earphones to help and to play relaxing music. I also did some meditation.

However I haven't really been getting a lot of good sleep and that"s mostly why I'm super cranky.

My diet is also pretty bad right now. My allergies are acting up. T_T

So yeah... I need more sleep. I need to eat healthier, get back into my routine, go to the gym, and meditate.

The posts I read also said to think about how getting annoyed helps... as it doesn't at all. And to also give people the benefit of the doubt, they don't do these things to annoy you. Also showing no reaction to people who intentionally do it, would bore them and they wouldn't do it again.

It's also made me realize I really need to lower my expectations for people. Like super low.

But this concept is so had for me because there's like a few things I expect, such as people doing the chores, instead of me doing it all the time. Obviously if I don't bring it up, they might not realize that they are not doing these chores, which then if I don't react, I am stuck with getting them done on my own as this is my expectation.

So I believe some expectations must be a bit higher than low at least....

Fall is here

It's September now... whoa. Summer felt like it flew by so quickly.

A quick summary of my Summer would be there it was full of work and catching up with friends. A lot of food outings too...

It was also the point of the year where I went through more with my IG and YouTube. I will continue this into the Fall. :)

Sunday - After Street Eatery, I went and ordered a pizza and some bread sticks... I could only finish the pizza. All good though, it was delicious. I tried to eat some of the breadsticks but they were not that great at all.

Monday - Spent the day traveling and then just relaxed in BC with the famjam.

Tuesday - Relaxed some more and then went to 88 buffet with the famjam. I was so sleepy after that.

Friday - Just watched a lot of YouTube and some Meteor Garden.

Saturday -  I slept in for quite a bit, went to the mall with the famjam and got a few t-shirts, also went to Denny's for dinner. Watched some Meteor Garden and then went to Wal-Mart for some groceries and now I'm just relaxing until I have to sleep.

Sunday - I had to work today and barely got any sleep! So much was going on last night. I feel pretty cranky today from the lack of sleep. I'm going to watch some YouTube and do some video editing tonight and then get some sleep.

Update, I took a nap... I feel refreshed and just finished editing.

Squeezing the last bit of summer

This week has been quite the crazy week and was filled with catching up with a lot of friends, making new ones and just relaxing since I've had a pretty exhausting week!

Tuesday - Hung out with a friend at Blue Star Diner for dinner. We hadn't seen each other in over 10 years, so it was about time we caught up. It was nice catching up and we're going to try to hangout with each other more.

Wednesday - I attended a leadership workship with a friend. It was really interesting... it made us talk about what is holding us back from doing what we want to do, what it is we want to do, and what we need to do to get there. Loved the perspective change on it. Also went out for a second dinner and had Wakado Ramen. Not my favouite kind of noodles, but the chicken broth was quite interesting!

Thursday - I just made time for myself. I went to the gym for a bit and just relaxed... finished up dramas... etc. It was a very relaxing even after work!

Friday - Went to Coco bbt with a friend and met her friends. Walked around the neighborhood before that and I bought some cheese to eat :D

Saturday - Meant to try the special menu at Vero Bistro, but it turns out they didn't tell us during our reservation that they wouldn't honor it on weekends. So my friends and I went to Poke instead, had Starbucks and then walked around the toy store and Kensington. It was fun. Found a dinosaur plushie that's just about my height... and I found some heart-shaped mood rings, that I kind of wanted to buy... haha. They're so pretty and colourful! Went to the Moonlight Market with a friend and tried a bubble waffle with oreo. Wish it was filled like the ones at Bubble Queen. Ah well, it was tasty anyway. Bumped into some friends as well. I tried to go to the bank before going home, but it was closed... bought some blueberries and ate them at home. Then went for dinner and karaoke at Sole, met some new friends and had a good time. I wish they had more newer songs though!! They didn't have a lot of songs in the book, but I think if you tried typing them on the remote, it would be okay.

Today I went out for lunch at The Street Eatery with some friends, then walked around the park with them and then sat down and just chilled... also played some Pokemon Go. Now I am just waiting for my pizza and cheesy bread to get here for dinner. Yup, this week was expensive but it was definitely time for me to treat myself. I'm going to hermit and save now... :)

I need to clean the house a bit today, do laundry and get things ready for work and stuff after vacation. But first, going to chill and then do that stuff. I did a lot of stuff at the beginning of the week, so I don't have too much I need to do.

It'll probably be a bit of a late night as well. I need to finish editing today.

Taking action

Another day of self-reflection... I remember how last year I said I would work on building my portfolio as much as possible. I really haven't done that and it's eating me up. T_T

Today I self-reflected and this is what I have been thinking:

- my new goal is to be a part-time freelancer and a part-time content creator
- I need to build my content and audience for the content creation side
- I'm going to do more affiliate marketing to make some income on the side
- I'm going to try some other freelance sites to get freelance remote gigs for video editing
- I think video editing is my high income skill, so I'm going to build on that
- I'm going to watch more tutorial videos for video editing and try them out so I can educate myself more (I feel like my knowledge is slipping)
- I might take on a volunteer project again (going to be more selective on this, though)
- I am going to keep thinking and working towards these goals, so that I can be positive

Also I need to revamp my portfolio site and my blog site, like big time. There is no distinct branding.

My goal is to achieve this within the next 2 months. Yup, it's an audacious goal, I know, but that's what makes it even more fulfilling.

Balance

This week the air was quite smoky outside, so not a lot of opportuities to go outside for long periods of time.

Everytime I went outside and then back into a building, my nose would start to get irritated. Yup, the smoke is pretty rough right now. :/ I tried to get out as much as I could this weekend, but I really believe it's just best to stay indoors until the air is back to normal.

Thursday - We went to Bookers BBQ for dinner. We got two sides each, a shrimp po-boy sandwich and a brisket sandwich. Ahh, so good, we were so stuffed.

Friday - We went to the gym! Surprisingly I didn't get sore from it, but I was sore from before, so I took it pretty easy. We then watched the Crazy Rich Asians movie. Love the cinematography and mise-en-scene. It was nice to put a face to all the characters from the book. I want to read the book in full now that I can match faces to the names. There's quite a bit! I also tried a pineapple sparkling water drink from the vending machine. It was good, but pricey D:. $2 more than what I would've paid from a regular store, but hey, that's how the theatre makes their money.

Saturday - Did some errand running and ordered Kitsune soba for dinner from Sushi Bar Zipang. It was really good, just what I needed after walking to the grocery store in the smoke. T_T

Sunday - Woke up early today and went to Espresso Cafe to celebrate birthdays. We had the brunch buffet and it was sooo good. I definitely want to go back again. It was really good to catch up with the gal pals, and I also bought a top from Simons after going into Winners and I couldn't find a laptop sleeve... but I did get a lemon essential oil. I also went through Inglewood as well to look around, got a pineapple dole whip and walked home. It was a good walk, I am still full from today's brunch though, so I'm having some tea to help me digest and feel less bloated. I hope I can fit some dinner in before bed. It's around dinner time right now and so I'm just going to finish this post and then do some video editing and plan out my week.

The tea is really helping! Yesss.

This week has been pretty balanced. I am pretty exhausted but I am starting to get motivated again to follow my passions. :D

I went to the gym!

I haven't been feeling my best this week, but slowly lifting my mindset back to where it should be.

Friday - Went for dinner at the famjam's and then took Tofu to the park and chilled with him at home. We were thinking of taking him to watch the boif do disc golf practice, but it would be for a couple of hours and it might be too hot outside for the pupper and also too smoky for me, so I just took him to the park nearby. It was nice having some company at home and Tofu was just so cute the whole time. We went to go see Christopher Robin after. I didn't really enjoy it as much as I thought I would, but it was pretty nostalgic and I resonated with Piglet so much. I also really lovd Eeyore hahah he was just super blunt and it was awesome. Tried a frozen yogurt smooth at the froyo place in the theatre as I wanted a drink that wouldn't break the bank. It was pretty good, as it had pineapple juice in it!

Saturday - Slept into the afternoon and watched some more Good Morning Call (it's getting pretty intense, the characters are developing soooo much!) and then headed to the gym for about an hour. I started using Bumble again this week so I caught up on some conversations I had with some matches today as well. Went to the mall for a bit and didn't expect to buy anything as the bae wanted to get some socks, but when we went into The Gap, I immediately was drawn to a blue maxi dress that was on sale... and then found some denim shorts and jeans that were on sale... I couldn't resist, they were such good deals as the items there are usually over $40 - $120!! I got three items for a total of $62 :) We then went to Julio's Barrios for dinner with another couple of friends and it was really great. I had the chimichanga which imho is super filling and so worth the price. Also tried a virgin pina colada. It was decent, don't think I would get it again. It was really nice to catch up and get to know my friend's SO, since they're getting married soon and we never really got to know the two of them together.

Today I met up with a Bumble BFF friend. It was my first time meeting someone from the app. We had a really good conversation for about two hours! We had a lot of similar interests and we're planning on hanging out again. Went to mari bakeshop to meet up and I had some rose tea and a passionfruit choux, both were pretty delicious! I ran an errand after and then just went home. We had sausages and salad for dinner and watched a lot of Terrace House: Aloha State. Went for a small walk after taking the recycling out, and then I folded the laundry. I'm pretty sore from yesterday so I think I'm just going to chill for the rest of the night.

Tomorrow I'm going to do some video editing and then planning my week. Going to start taking my side hustle stuff more seriously now. Need paid gigs and need to build my portfolio.