Ahhhhhhhhh

I got the offer.

I am so wishy washy right now.

A part of me today was saying I should accept the position because I don't have other offers, and I need to pay bills.

Another part of me saw the job postings that I really want to apply for and said to decline the offer and wait.

Playing the waiting game is tough because it's unpredictable.

I could take the job, but I'd feel horrible and would burn bridges if I found something right away. But then if I don't take the job, I don't know when I'll find a job.

Also, I despise admin work so, so much. But it's only for four hours a day, so it's not as bad as it was before.

This wouldn't be so tough if I had at least a week to think about it. But I only have a day...

I asked myself why I accepted my previous jobs.

Here's why:

My last contract job: It paid well, and I was desperate for a job. Red flag was during the interview and on my very first day.

My startup job: I took it because I thought it'd be a good opportunity to grow... and I wanted a mentor. It just wasn't the right fit. It also paid really low with no benefits.

My first job: I didn't know anything about the workforce, so of course I accepted.

I also realized my last two jobs I had very little time to think about the offer. My last contract job I only had 3 hours... 3 hours! I wassn't in the right mindset to ask necessary questions about my boss's presence, etc.

But I'm glad I got the opportunity for this position to ask my questions.

I also asked questions after getting the offer. No benefits... but there's room for growth.

Also, social media and video editing right now is a no-no.

I want to wait for a better opportunity.

I really, really do.