Work environments

No reply, and I think I might know why. I share my mentor's calendar and it says they have appointments until noon. Perhaps that's why he did not reply... that seems to be what I observed as their management style.

I also realized they sent an email to all of the interns saying that they would get back with an update this Monday, about a meeting later this week. No update. If it was because no one was free for a meeting, they should have at least pointed that out on Monday. Send a quick note, takes a couple of minutes.

I read articles about why people quit their internships, and I also read about toxic work environments. If you keep going to jobs in toxic work environments, it's not going to be good as you can get stuck, and carry negative experiences with you to a new environment. This is why I need to find a better work environment, a more happy one, like the one I had at my job when I was still in school. (Actually, I had two jobs, and both of those jobs were amazing.) Only when the real world came, the environment was meh.

Call to action for now would be, if my mentor calls, then we'll meet. I decided not to call because if my mentor did care, he would have replied to my e-mail. If he doesn't call, I'll just assume we are meeting on Monday as per our discussion yesterday.

I have decided I will stick with the job unless my mentor is really reluctant to change things/be clear. I think if I resign, they might not pay me, and that's not something I want to have challenges with. It's actually really uncertain now if I will be paid at all/timely.

Am I just staying for the pay? I'm really not getting any benefit from this other than that. The reason why most interns quit their internships is because they can find better jobs, and the internship didn't provide benefit to them all. It's sad that if you put it on your resume, it's good, because it shows work experience. But you know what? I don't think that's justified, you still need to share stories of your experience there, and if you didn't benefit at all, what kind of stories could you share? Although, maybe some interns like that, having an internship that didn't benefit them but looks good on their resume. I'm definitely not one of those interns.

I kind of wish the program was reverted back to the old style, where the program paid and was the employer. I think that would be much easier, because then I could have someone to address my concerns to... all I have right now is an HR personnel who is a volunteer and not even a board member anymore. How is that helpful at all?

I think I'm going to call up the other company that I had postponed for after my internship. They have graphic design internship positions, but I have no idea if it's paid or unpaid. I think, at this rate, I would prefer the internship as a whole because I need experience with graphic design, but not for more than a couple of hours per week/few hours per month. If I can get a part-time job with it, then it would be okay if it was unpaid. Hmm.

After this internship, I think I should stay away from internships with small non-profits/small companies.

Hm.

I know I need to be positive about this, but I am starting to think if I can keep on working with my mentor after observing how they manage...

I really want to resign and find a new job.

Might be better if they could find a new intern for this position with actual expertise in the field, because that is what they wanted in the first place, right?

Technically a lot of companies are still on holidays right now, it's very odd how as a non-profit, they aren't on holidays either. A lot of non-profits usually take the holiday, but I suppose it's because the organization does not offer a 'service' like other non-profits do.

I still haven't received a response from my mentor about tomorrow. They have probably seen my e-mail. I technically would not mind meeting until next week, but because I offered to meet tomorrow, I want to know if we can.

I really hope I get interviews this week and the following weeks.

If it really doesn't end up working out, then I think I will resign. I have potential freelance projects in the new year, so I can work on those until I find new employment.

I really need to get paid.

Okay, it's time to get the ball rolling.

Some miscommunication issues happened earlier today.

I am not allowed to telecommute anymore because it's actually a requirement of my program to work in an office for all hours. I wish my mentor had stated this before, then all of this misinterpretation would not occur and I would have come in this week.

I was originally going to meet next week with my mentor, but I suggested tomorrow now. Waiting for a response. I want to clear things up and work out these communication issues.

Things I will address:

- Document or letter addressing pay dates/pay roll, hours, pay and the position and employer.
- Hours of working, right now it's 10 - 6, but I have volunteer commitments on certain days and cannot fulfill this requirement, trying to work it out since it was approved before to work at home for a bit and then come in and leave early.. but I don't think that's going to work, so I am trying to see if a 35 hour work week would work instead.
- Schedule of meetings/follow-up: I need to find out what my mentor's schedule is like, as I expect they would follow-up when they say they will, but from the last few weeks, it has not been happening
- Expectations of the role, and of the learning process - Each month I have to fill out a progress report of what I learned, what could be improved and how my progress is... I definitely need to bring this up and let my mentor know that I would like training in this role, from someone with expertise or from training courses. I don't think my mentor can provide any of this for me... but perhaps I would still be allowed to research


I will call my mentor tomorrow morning to confirm the meeting tomorrow. This is so frustrating. I don't know why this internship is so stressful, it really shouldn't be.

I am applying for jobs as much as I can. I hope I can find something very soon, within the next two weeks would be ideal.

I need to be positive, though. I will find something for sure! No more stress!

Looking at other opportunities...

After working at my internship for almost three weeks... I can conclude a few things:

1) I will not receive formal training. Already three weeks in, and no training. I think that ship has sailed.
2) Is there a point to stay in this internship, other than the pay? At the end of each month I have to fill out a report saying what I have learned. I haven't learned anything except from myself...
3) This internship solely helps the employer and not me. My employer thinks I have a solid bg in this area, and that's probably why they aren't training me. D:
4) This organization has no clue how to train for this role... that is why they have an intern.

So yup... I am looking for other opportunities.

A nice opportunity came up. It's a starting point but it's at an agency, and that is exactly what I wanted to do. Get my foot in the door at an agency, learn the ropes and apply them and grow within the company.

I just feel like this internship is kind of pointless for me... I thought in internships you were supposed to learn from someone who has expertise in that field for your role. Perhaps that's only for current students though. Thankful my practicum during my school days had a requirement where the employer needed 5 years of expertise in the field you are interning for... so if this was a practicum, it would not qualify.

I am really disappointed but all I can do right now is keep applying for other opportunities and hold it out until I find something.

Job hunting~

Already into the third week of my internship, and there's a lot of management issues already...

Basically, my mentor is not that helpful and is not really giving me the training I require. My mentor focuses on the direction for the company, but with my very small background in this area, it is very difficult for me to do what I need to do . I have not received any formal training for my actual position. And this isn't even a work kind of job, it's an internship! I am so confused. But I now have the impression my mentor isn't really a mentor... although he does give the flexibility of what responsibilities I can take care of, that's pretty sweet.

I have been keeping up my job hunt lately but have only been applying to one or two jobs a week. I think I should step up my game and start applying to at least one each day. The reason why it's so sparse is because I am only applying to things I really want... but I suppose I should apply to jobs that I want and would help me grow in a company.

During this internship, I have realized what I really enjoy, graphic design. I don't know why, but it's actually something I have enjoyed doing since I was a teen. Being able to place design objects in a way that is appealing/communicates your message is very intriguing. The creativity surge that I get from it, is really awesome. This is a totally different feeling than I get when I am doing social media. But it's the same feeling I get when I am representing at tradeshows, or doing a video edit on a scripted video. I really think that is what my passion is... and I think if I can find a job that has all of this, I will be a very happy employee!

I am going to aim to find a new position in the new year, hopefully within a few weeks or a month. I have already heard that some interns have not completed their internship at the company, so I think going to new employment should be okay since it's an internship, and the goal is well, for the intern to find a full-time job, right?

I also hope I can work with awesome managers. I have had a few awesome managers in the past. What made them awesome was that they were flexible, they listened, and they communicated well and would provide assistance when needed. They were very thorough in their instructions and they were very easy to get along with. They didn't micromanage either.

But as of lately, I have not had a very good experience with managers. They either micromanage like crazy, give very vague instructions, do not train, do not explain things when asked, do not follow-up when they say they will at a certain time, and don't communicate very well, get angry easily, worry too much, etc... I know it's pretty tough to be a manager, so this may be well out of their hands, but the key is definitely communication and trusting your employees.

What direction?

After I posted my last blog post, I happened to check my Spam folder in my work-related e-mail. There I found an e-mail that was sent to me on the Friday before asking me to come in for an interview for an internship I had applied to the past week. Had I not checked my spam, I might have missed out on the opportunity.

I was asked to come in on the following Tuesday. I was given the internship right away! Apparently they did have an intern ready to go, but they did not meet the eligibility requirements... only two people applied, so I guess they asked me afterwards.

I started working at the beginning of this week. So far it's okay, I was reading a lot of background stuff, and now I get to actually work and make plans. It's pretty cool, but at the same time I am not too sure what I am doing.

But hopefully I will get the chance to learn from my mentor.

The internship is for a few months, so I will be building experience. But at the same time I am still applying to jobs here and there, and still waiting to hear back from some. I am being more selective at this point, only applying to relevant jobs with the career I have in mind. I am hoping I can have a job lined up after my internship is completed.

The internship is currently a work-at-home role at the moment. Initially, I did not know this until I had accepted the job and came in for training. I did know that we did not have a permanent office, and that I would be working with multiple offices, but I guess the other office isn't really available to use for everyday. This would usually really bother me, because a) I prefer to work in an office because it keeps work separate from personal/comfort stuff and b) I focus much better in an office and actually feel like I am working. But, because this is an internship in an area I need to develop skills in and would help my career path, I decided I can be okay with this for a while. My mentor is working on getting an office, so I won't be office-less for too long.

I am a little disappointed because I did want a social aspect... but I can't expect much in a small organization. In the future, when more interns are hired though, I will be able to have that culture. So working at home for now is okay, because the social culture isn't really present. My mentor works from home as well. We only have meetings from time to time.

While doing this internship and reading this article about traveling and working abroad to meet your dreams, I thought of the direction I want to go in... I wonder. I want to be able to follow my dreams and fulfill my passions. I want to be in a great happy career and travel lots, experience fun times with my family and friends. But how do I do that?

I also want to go back to school too. Let's face it, even though studying is a drag, school was fun. I like learning in general, but studying was always a bit of a challenge for me, but it paid off. But I want to be able to take what I study and be able to implement that into my ideal career as well. When I did my degree, I was only thinking about my interests at the time and didn't really think of what would be interesting and make sense to have a job in... my dreams have changed since then, because I don't have those goals anymore but I've made new ones along the way. I want to be able to put my degree and a new course or program or certificate, etc... together, and make that a career. I think it would work.


For now, I'll see how this internship goes and what opportunities it will take me to explore.